So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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