I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
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Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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