We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It's just like the Real World with babies
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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