Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She told me I should be a condom model.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
