we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
