I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
