Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i think i just lost a toe
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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