Tell her she can't have a vagina
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
