So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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