THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
