after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
