My first STD was from a foam party
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
