WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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