Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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