Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
