He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he thought i was a dude.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
