he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
