Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
