Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
