? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Randomize
