I got chris browned last night
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
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It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
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I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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