That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
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Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
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That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize