Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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