I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
