i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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