Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
