I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
