Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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