i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
honey bunches of taint.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
