Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
