fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
