I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
