you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
