My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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