I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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