So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
