It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
