don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
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your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
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Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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