Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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