He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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