So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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