Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
