yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize