I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize