Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize