I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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