This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We are all done wearing pants today
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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