so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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