Porn is love you can see.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
