Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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