i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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