so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
