my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize