Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
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He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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