My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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