I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
