Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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