My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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