you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
