Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize