You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
