I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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