In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
