Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize