I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
